Gratitude

I am filled with gratitude. I am grateful for myself and the way I face life and its challenges, for growing through them, and for knowing that life is not against me – it never has been. Crises are my chance to rise above myself and become more and more of what I have lost over the years. In the caves behind the dragons that guard our greatest fears lie the greatest treasures – and yes, I am a treasure hunter. I am light and shadow.

Thank you to all the people who have made these developments possible for me and continue to do so, to those who have witnessed and supported them, and to those who offer me stability and a safe space so that all this can happen. Thank you to those who love me unconditionally for everything I am, without judgement or prejudice, with open hearts, open ears and open arms. Thank you for being there and reflecting me back to myself, for not sparing me what you think and feel, and for encouraging me to follow my own path. My special thanks go to my friends Julia, Annette and Melanie, as well as to the wonderful, unique women in my women’s circle and wider circle of friends.

 Thanks to my male friends, thanks for your concern and your ‘take care of yourself’ messages, and for your doubts, yet still standing by me.

‘...and all that matters is who we are and who we want to be, not what we lack...’
I would like to express my deepest gratitude, with my whole being, to the man with whom, despite all circumstances and knowing full well what might happen, I embarked on this indescribably intense and beautiful journey together, with full awareness and the utmost thoughtfulness. Without you, I would not be who I am today. Nor would this topic, or the desire to develop a support programme for people in this third-party position, have come about. Thank you for being the man with whom I was able to live and experience this affair, or rather our love affair. Thank you for repeatedly giving me stability and security amidst all the uncertainty, and for allowing me to feel connected, loved, desired, seen, heard, valued and important. Thank you for allowing me, together with you,

Thank you for allowing me to grow alongside you in this relationship. I thank you for every single moment; each one remains in my memory and is unforgettable. I also find it unforgettable how many possibilities we humans have, and how few of them we make use of in our daily lives. Life could be so much more varied and vibrant.
I would also like to thank you especially for the very sensual, lustful, passionate and vibrant closeness and intimacy, including in our sexual relationship. It was my greatest pleasure and an honour to experience this for the first time in this way and with you, just as I had always dreamed of but had never experienced before.
Thank you also for your courage in ultimately deciding to return to your relationship with your wife, even though that was what I feared most and is associated with deep pain. I don’t regret anything.

Thank you also to your wife. Even if it was certainly not her intention, she contributed in her own way to us being able to meet and spend time together, a time in which so much was genuine and unpretentious. I get the impression that she tried to deal with the situation honestly, to find clarity for herself and to live by it. And the fact that she went her own way and stayed with you also deserves respect.

“That’s how the world is made – there is no happy ending – there is only the moment – and it lights your way – for the second that it burns” (Max Prosa)